They assume the other person thinks the worst of them and is focusing on their flaws and mistakes.This is usually because people who are socially anxious tend to have lower self-esteem and make automatic negative assumptions about themselves.Knowing there were treatments that could (and did) help them gain confidence and a new perspective, I felt compelled to write a book about the skills that help people get past social anxiety. Combining ACT with traditional exposure and cognitive techniques rooted in CBT, here are some of the most effective ways to approach dating anxiety: Practicing self-disclosures Shy and anxious people are less likely to share about themselves and self-disclose.
Self-disclosure is simply telling people what you think, how you feel, and letting them see what matters to you.
Reducing the threat of judgment from others–and yourself One of the reasons people may not disclose more about themselves is for fear of being judged.
Acceptance There is an alternative to being guarded.
By focusing on one’s sense of self-acceptance and self-worth, it feels less intimidating to share with others.
When a person feels good about who they are, their values and what they have to offer, and sees their own experience in a compassionate way, it bolsters them against judgment.
By calming their harshest critic, their own inner judge, it opens the door to experiencing closer connections with others.
Because social anxiety is such a widespread problem, psychologists have worked hard to develop treatments that work.
Four separate meta-analyses have shown Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to be effective in treating SAD.
The threat of negative evaluation from others–such as being negatively perceived by your date–is the root of social anxiety, and is exacerbated in a dating setting.