On the flip side, if courting doesn’t work out, then we have a train wreck extraordinaire.
If they check out, you may proceed, but with input from other people, especially pastor and parents.
You may go out together, but not without some form of chaperone, this can be parents, siblings or (in more liberal circles) friends.
In dating we have the risk of someone over committing and the pain that comes with rejection.
Courting promises to remove or at least reduce instances of this by using parents and eligibility appraisals as gate keeper. Parents, especially fathers have a keen eye when it comes to daughters.
Dating is organic and natural; as the relationship gradually matures, intimacy and commitment develop at the same rate. What we can talk about are the ramifications for individuals in both systems.
Courting is the same game, just with all the commitment up front and the intimacy pushed to the end. Has JH saved thousands of women from unnecessary heartache? Has JH condemned thousands of women to the heartache of remaining single for the rest of their lives, because the barrier-to-entry at the front gate was set too high. If things work out – the couple end up getting married – then it’s all good. The question really is about emotional harm when things don’t work out.
Indeed JH said that he though saving the first kiss for after marriage was reasonable.
Courting isn’t really a new system, it’s dating chopped up and rearranged.
Another big component of Purity Culture is the concept of courting. It starts very casually, a coffee, a movie, a drink. At the 4 month mark, if things are going well, you get introduced to his or her friends.