For now, my advice is to also play the waiting game with the ex -- take your time before you meet him or her. Realize you are taking someone else's child into your life.
It turns out there is very little literature on how to date someone who has children. After running into him over a period of months, we began dating.
Overnight, I was thrown into a brave, new world -- one that involved a tween.
Though just recently we did have to have a discussion about his ex which made things between is awkward.
They were together for about 7 years, up until about 4 years ago when they separated.
But I quickly learned that this wasn't my kid, and the rules were different at my boyfriend's house. So if I felt a Playstation attack coming on, I left. I invited them places and if they didn't want to go, I went with someone else or by myself. If he doesn't do anything about it if it happens again, go straight to the kid. (And I can hear the parents recoiling that the childless girl is suggesting it! She not only gave vows to her new husband, she also gave vows to her new stepson.
When you date someone who has a child, they can feel that their life has more "weight" than yours -- like you should do whatever they want to do based on their schedules and needs. Be gentle, but let them know that things are a-changin' in the house. If I ever find myself in that situation, I'll totally do it, too.I scoured the Internet for advice about dating people with kids. I got the same advice from multiple people: "Be yourself." OK, what next? We were on and off, and it wasn't the healthiest relationship I've ever been in.The only books I could find were about step-parenting. Considering the divorce rate in this country, I thought finding the advice would be easy. *crickets* My relationship with this man continued for... But I did learn a LOT about the kiddos and how to deal with them.So here is my advice about dating people with kids.Take from it what you will: Wait Even though my boyfriend was eager to introduce me to his kiddo early on, we waited a long time before it actually happened.I dated my fiancé in high school, and after ten years of not speaking to each other, his ex left, moved out, got a new boyfriend, and we started to hang out again. We hid our relationship from her for a few months before telling her, and she drilled my name out of the kids.