That movie said to people ‘this is what domestic violence looks like and this is who does it’. It’s what it looks like for some people, but that’s not the way it is for everyone.
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Just recently I was in touch with this woman who said she needed a fridge, so I jumped on Twitter and asked for a secondhand fridge.
One of the Aunties messaged me immediately and said ‘I will buy her a fridge’.
After that, I started getting stuff through my social media channels for one woman who was pregnant and didn’t have any support.
That was just me and my Facebook friends, and then it got a little bit bigger and people would ask me something like ‘can we get a microwave?
I will never forget walking through that door and one of the woman saying ‘thank you for being my friend’. These women need stuff, yes, but they also need a friend. They are just whoever, just an amorphous group of people.
I started going every week with whatever stuff I had to give them. It was my dream for the refuge girls to never have to pay for food, because I opened the pantry there one day and there was nothing aside from some expired tins of tomatoes. If you give me stuff, you’re an Aunty, as simple as that. The first time I met Aunty Jackie she was flashing her breasts at an MRA activist on Queen Street at the end of the Women’s March.“It was the only thing that would shut him up,” she guffawed, weeks later in The Spinoff board room.One of the girls there I asked the same question: what do you need? And I got her what she wanted which was a bag of hoodies and jeans and things. My life is varied and different and it’s a full-time job that I don’t get paid for.It’s chaotic, but I wouldn’t be doing anything else.We met up on the eve of International Women’s Day to talk about the work that she does, the state of feminism, and what New Zealand can do to fix its gender violence problem.