Indeed, you can find a whole load of stuff you don’t desire, but get hooked nonetheless,” she says.
Like most partners, she initially didn’t buy into the concept of sex addiction (“it sounded like a pretty weak excuse for an affair”) and even when she did start to believe that her husband’s behaviour was compulsive, her friends didn’t (“they’d look at me in despair, asking since when had sexual desire became a monster that can’t be controlled”), leaving her feeling isolated.
To be fair on Rachel’s friends, there is some debate about whether the term sex addiction is scientifically accurate, but the field of addiction is changing fast and emphasis is shifting from the substance to the psychological symptoms of addiction.
(If you want to make the most of your two-person romps, check out How to Pleasure a Woman, the complete guide to becoming a master lover.) So when does a harmless exercise turn into a harmful addiction?
Here are the physical and psychological symptoms that may indicate you need to holster your hand and give your boner an extended breather.
If you find your habit is harming your social life or your job — or preventing you from getting out and finding a partner — those are signs you need to adjust your routine, Drake says.
Some guys who masturbate a lot using specific types of stimuli — say, certain categories of porn coupled with specific hand movements — find that they can’t recreate the same type of excitement during sex, Köhler explains.“He’d always go to bed later than me and often made excuses when I brought it up,” explains the 41-year-old.“So when he sat me down one day to tell me he was a sex addict, I actually laughed – although I soon stopped when he disclosed night upon night of watching pornography for hours on end and numerous short-lived affairs.On top of all this, there are some times when masturbating just isn’t a great idea.For example, Köhler and his colleagues have found that diddling every day for two weeks depletes a man’s sperm count by nearly 50 percent.Here’s the good news: There’s no magic number when it comes to a healthy masturbation habit, says Dan Drake, a certified sex addiction therapist and clinical counselor.