The fact that “they” did it (for suitably vague definitions of “they”), then clearly it should be open to , no? The more socially calibrated and experienced you are, the more you can pull off; people who’re more socially calibrated are better at reading the social context, picking up on the other person’s signs and knowing how – if necessary – to extract themselves if things go badly.
A 5th level paladin isn’t going to survive going through the Tomb of Horrors and somebody who doesn’t have much social experience is better off sticking to accepted social spaces to approach women.
This is one of the areas where Schoen seriously falls down.
By that same token, there are times and places where the social context says that says that it’s acceptable to approach a stranger and that a person’s presence is a general acceptance of the social contract.
These places include: variables that can affect what behavior is and isn’t appropriate; the same behavior that’s appropriate at a club is creepy as hell at work.
You’re incongruent with the location and that can be incredibly creepy to people; it tells others that you either don’t understand the rules that govern what is and isn’t acceptable or you don’t .
Someone who doesn’t care that it’s not appropriate to yank a book out of somebody’s hands or pull the earbuds out of her ears is sending the signal that they may well not worry about little things like “consent” either.
Pushing and pushing for Spelman to respond to him, switching social media platforms when she wouldn’t respond to him on the previous one?
This is someone who’s demonstrating poor social calibration; he’s getting a very obvious brush-off and keeps trying anyway.
In the case of Ben Schoen’s attempt at wooing of Grace Spelman, he assumed a far greater level of intimacy than actually existed; the only contact they had was that she friended him on Facebook when she was fourteen.
For nine years, they had contact; they never interacted on Facebook or Twitter until he tweeted at her out of the blue.
If you’re still struggling to get that first date, then you’re better choosing lower-risk, lower-investment approaches like meeting people through your social circle.