It’s going to be an inexact process at best; it’s not as though grinding in bars gives you 120 XP per hour that culminates with your hitting the cap as a level 80 Pick-Up Artist.As a general rule, the more successes you have – getting working phone numbers, first dates, second dates – the more risks you can reasonably take.The first message was relatively innocuous, but the ones that followed became weren’t – he was making the kind of jokes-but-not-really that assume a greater level of familiarity between the two than actually existed.
A close friend might get away with an impromptu hug or a playful ass-grab; an acquaintance or total stranger who tries to pull the same move would get a surprise visit from the Slap Fairy.
People who assume (or try to take) a greater level of intimacy than they actually have are creepy because they’re ignoring your boundaries.
it’s ok to approach women is to consider the social context of the situation.
At any given time, there are generally accepted rules that define what behavior is considered acceptable and appropriate for the situation.
The fact that “they” did it (for suitably vague definitions of “they”), then clearly it should be open to , no? The more socially calibrated and experienced you are, the more you can pull off; people who’re more socially calibrated are better at reading the social context, picking up on the other person’s signs and knowing how – if necessary – to extract themselves if things go badly.
Someone who is socially well-calibrated can get away with more than someone approaches; the odds are against you and you can end up making yourself seem creepy when you don’t intend to.
The social context of being at church, for example, demands radically different behavior than being at a nightclub.
the accepted social context, then you end up making people uncomfortable.
One of the hard and fast rules of dating and not being creepy is recognizing that everybody has boundaries and those boundaries are flexible; some people have greater levels of access to us than others because we have different levels of intimacy with them.
One of the keys of what makes somebody creepy is very simple: creepers assume a greater level of intimacy than actually exists.
A 5th level paladin isn’t going to survive going through the Tomb of Horrors and somebody who doesn’t have much social experience is better off sticking to accepted social spaces to approach women.