But the honeymoon is already over because, well, because starting a relationship in middle-age isn’t the millpond that the young and newly-in-love might hope to enjoy. And you have to wonder how he’s going to feel about yours. (And remember, we’re talking about men who could have.) One, he’s gay. And if that’s not a deal-breaker for you, I wish you every happiness. Three (and, I suspect, the most likely reason), he’s never wanted to share the limelight. Kids are the physical manifestation of emotional baggage. ’Women, I suspect, are more forgiving, more willing to close the door on the past. Even if he keeps himself in shape — doesn’t just have a gym membership, but uses it — he’s at best a Ford Fiesta that rolled off the production line long before electric windows and central locking were fitted as standard.
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I wonder if I can still get into that morning suit .
As for spending time with a well-heeled girl’s friends, this will ‘embody all the warmth and intimacy of a court room’ as they ‘share everything with one another’ – including details of the hapless male’s failings in the bedroom.
In my opinion, young men should live out their youthful folly before setting out on a lifelong commitment.
One middle-aged man I interviewed confessed that the only reason he got married at 32 was to placate his overbearing mother, who worried about what the neighbours might think if he remained a bachelor.‘All my friends were getting married at the time,’ he told me, ‘so I just went along with it.’He’s now 50, happily divorced and ready to settle down — only this time, for all the right reasons.
One of the great advantages of marrying a midlife man is that, like you, he will have grown into himself and be far more comfortable in his skin.
And experience will have shown him that relationships can never be perfect.
And if you’re worried that a midlifer will want nothing more than to lounge in his armchair poring over the crossword, cast that image from your mind immediately.
Men no longer turn into crusty old bores the moment they hit 50.
And on a practical note, most of us will have climbed the greasy pole and put something aside for the future we are now enjoying.