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Trust requires two ingredients: Your husband must become trustworthy, and you must trust again.

If the girl gets attached in the process, it just means the breakup will be messier. Yes, the initial thrill of a new relationship is exciting, but each time that excitement grows less and less because you grow accustomed to it.

Even when a man does get emotionally invested, it usually occurs more slowly and to a lesser degree. If the countless e-mails I get from readers, or my female friends' stories and my own experience are any indication, you know what I am talking about. You gradually throw away the innocence that allows for deep emotional attachment to a single partner, in exchange for a series of brief, shallower attachments that cause you to raise your defenses against something permanent.

He said he was trying to get some romantic ideas since he knows I want more romance. Several months later, after moving into our house, I was looking for an anti-virus disc for our home computer, and he said he had it in his Navy bag.

When I looked in his bag I found a stripper video that was signed by the woman on the front cover, and it was addressed to him.

I also found some more telephone numbers showing up on our wireless bill that seemed to be very popular at odd times of the day.

While I am encouraged that my husband says he is committed to making the changes that are necessary, I am finding forgiveness is much easier than trusting again.” Of course it is, because her husband is not being completely open and honest. How much detail are you willing to give your wife in your answers to her questions? It is time to quit hiding, and to be who you say you are.

Men don’t always like that first responsibility, but it is true.

Our wives can do some things in the relationship without our help, of course.

This post has been expanded and rewritten as a chapter, along with other chapters that explain how to think about dating and relationships in a way that will help you attract solid, confident men.

If you’re to rebuild marital trust in the wake of a husband’s betrayal, there can be no dancing around the issue. When a husband demolishes his wife’s trust, there cannot be complete restoration until that trust returns, because trust is the basis of all relationships.

Trouble is, when it comes to trust, there’s a catch.


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