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I’m proud to be Asian, and I’m working on learning Cantonese and Vietnamese (at least the basics).

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But, occasionally, I’ll get a letter from a reader that requires a deeper and more thorough dive than the usual request for advice.

These are the Post-Mortems, where we dissect a letter and dig through the remains in order to get to the heart of the issue. Many times, we’re having to liberally apply the Chair Leg of Truth to a lifetime of beliefs.

Realizing that you’re holding on to negative, self-limiting beliefs is an important step in overcoming them. Physically attractive, tall and fit, non smoker, social drinker, intelligent (masters qualified), undertaking a career that corresponds with my education level, and cultured, with a strong interest in many of the arts, along with active competition in sport (i’m a cyclist) to a high amateur level.

The problem, however, is that sometimes you don’t realize that you’re focusing on the . I am also a sociable person, not autistic (to my knowledge) and am well liked by friends of both genders.

As my boyfriend (who is a white male himself) puts it, “Every white guy wants to have sex with an Asian girl, but not all of them want to date one.” We all know the popular slang term “yellow fever”, which describes a (usually) white male who fetishizes Asian women.

On the other hand, there are also plenty of Asian women who fetishize white guys just as much.

Historian David Starkey has launched a scathing attack on his female rivals, branding their works 'historical Mills and Boon'.

The acid-tongued broadcaster and writer also complained that female historians are 'usually quite pretty' and keen to show off their good looks on their book covers.

In a television interview he went on to dismiss women historians as having names that 'usually begin and end with A'.

An obvious target is Amanda Foreman, who once posed naked holding copies of her book Georgiana, Duchess Of Devonshire, based on the life of the 18th century aristocrat.

I felt like I was sort of “upgrading” in a way by moving away from my heritage. Adam and I have been dating for over a year, and I’ve learned that we are very much alike.

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