Lady Gaga Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.Frank Sinatra When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. Albert Einstein Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. Seuss Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Albert Einstein As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
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Funny Quotes At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?
I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas." Claude Pepper The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the Camcorder.
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Oscar Wilde Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. Woody Allen Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. Johnny Carson A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. Joey Adams My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.