If you can have a friendly phone call with your ex and it does not affect your mood or fill your thoughts for the rest of the day, you may be in a good place to start dating again.
How long should you , says it's hard to put a number on it—but you'll probably want to wait at least a month before jumping back into the dating pool again."Most people need a month or two to process the breakup, to mourn, and to integrate lessons before jumping back in if they were in a fairly serious relationship," she says.
If you dated someone for a year or more, you may need three to four months.
If talking about your ex stirs up your emotions, you are not in a good place to start dating.
If you can dispassionately talk about your ex, it is a good sign that you are moving past the pain of the relationship break up.
"This way, you will feel whole and in high self-esteem before you go back into the next relationship and won't just be trying to fill that hole," says Sherman.
Taking a break from dating after a breakup isn't just about licking your wounds, though—it's also about figuring out what you've learned and can carry over to your next relationship, says psychologist Sanam Hafeez, Psy. "The ends of relationships teach us so much about ourselves: our style of communication, whether that style is effective or not, how we handle insecurities, conflict, and co-existing as an individual and as part of a two-some simultaneously," she says.
It is a time to come to terms with your loss so that you can move on to a brighter day.
Part of that brighter day will probably involve dating again.
If you would toss over a potential suitor for the chance to talk to your ex, your heart is probably still invested in your past relationship. If it would change your focus from your date to your ex, it may be an indication that you are not quite over the break up of the relationship.
If you would take the call from the potential suitor and tell your ex that you will call them back, you are probably in a good place to start dating again. If you cant, you probably arent ready to start dating.
If you come upon a picture of your ex and it brings up fond memories that put a smile on your face, you may have moved past the hurt of your break up.