However being ready to date, which prepares you for being ready for a relationship is actually about being mentally and emotionally ready.
In this weeks quiz, find out your dating readiness. If there’s stuff that you disagreed with, take it as a signal to dig deep within and be aware that if you proceed to date anyway without addressing them, you need to own your part in what results.
One day, he is caring and loving and wonderful, and the next he is hateful and raging and mean. You are afraid to talk, or when you do talk you feel like you are never heard, your words are taken out of context, misunderstood, or blatantly ignored. In the beginning of a relationship they might seem like everything you ever wanted….usually this is because they are trying to act like everything you ever wanted. You have no support group and therefore your partner gains more power. He or she might be mean to people they think are “below them” or people who are defenseless, like babies or children.
Unavailable people often have a lot of ‘loose ends’ in their lives and some of these exes boomerang in and out like bad pennies.
Shed the dead weight, put boundaries in place so that you can be genuinely available for a new relationship.
Long story short he has cheated on me beat me and has gone to jail for it.
He said he would change his lieing and over controlling ways but he hasn’t.
If you are a peaceful person, you might find yourself constantly fighting. You feel like there is something seriously wrong with you. You might say that you aren’t comfortable staying overnight together–your partner does so anyway. He or she might get upset–especially if you try to break up with them or say that you are leaving–however, there is no underlying remorse for hurting you. He or she might say that they are sorry if they hurt you (hit you, scream at you, cheat on you…etc.) and promise that it will never happen again, but their apology is more manipulative than sincere. They might speak badly about a previous partner, claiming that their previous partner was crazy, or a bitch, or an asshole.
They will make you feel like you are the one that is going crazy instead of them. You might worry about what you wear and what you say and freak out if someone changes your plans or something unexpected happens that you will have to explain later. You’re not quite sure what will set them off, but you are afraid that something you do is going to make them lose their temper… You might think that the Bears are the best football team–your partner will convince you that you are stupid for thinking so because they suck. They might talk about cheating on an old partner, or be proud of their reputation.
Your partner will play into this, claiming that other people are just jealous of what you have or are just trying to bring you two down. For example, if someone hurts them, they feel they have a right to retaliate.
If a teacher fails them, or a coworker says something bad about them, they feel entitled to revenge.
They might tell you you are not allowed to hang out with a certain person anymore, or wear a certain shirt, or go to a certain restaurant. Because they have a depressing family life, come from a broken home, had parents that didn’t love them right, are in debt, can’t hold a job, have a disease, a psychotic ex, a broken heart, low self-esteem….whatever their story is, they will make you feel sympathy for it. As real as they might be, and as sad as they might be, they are a trap that keeps you stuck. I don’t know if anyone has a similar situation to mine but I’ve been stuck for about four years now with An extremely rude abusive disrespectful guy.
Of course, your partner is allowed to do whatever he or she wants and you are not allowed to question them, but they will control everything you do. You can’t control what happened to them, and you can’t solve it for them. We met when he was 16 and I was 17 I had his baby when I was 19 I am now 21.
They might lose their temper in the middle of a restaurant because they think you are flirting with the waiter. You’re not always sure what the problem is, but things never add up. If you follow what they say, things still don’t get better.