But when you’ve been hurt by someone, taking a step back—in order to clear your mind and heal your heart—is actually the quickest way to get on your feet again.
Here are three reasons why: Your relationship ended for a reason—it takes time to discover and understand why.
This new guy’s opinion is that everyone is entitled to a private life, and not everyone is going to like it, but the people who matter will come around in the end.
Paulette goes on to say that it’s important to make sure you’re not in post-breakup mode when you get with someone else, as that could be you trying to fill that hole with a new relationship.
I get that, I really do – it’s important to have time for you and decide what it is you want, but aren’t relationships about doing what’s right for us?
To do so would run the risk of a repeat disaster that could leave you in even worse shape. If you jump into serious dating again too quickly, you may inadvertently—and unfairly—pressure your new partner to “compensate” you for wounds he didn’t inflict and to “prove” he is worthy of your trust.
But why should a new partner have to spend precious time clearing away someone else’s rubble?
Equally, you could be in a long-term relationship that wasn’t fulfilling your needs and you needed out of, pronto.
Then you decide to move on very quickly with someone else because they make you dead happy, which is also more than OK. Not so fast.” That sort of dogged determination may work well for a lot of things in life—but romance isn’t one of them. ” If you are tempted to apply this common maxim to your love life, we’ve got one thing to say: “Whoa there, pardner!When a promising romance has ended, it is tempting to quickly “put it all behind you” and distract yourself with somebody new.This strategy may make you feel better, but it ignores the golden opportunity that lies within every so-called “failure”—the chance to learn from it. Hang on to your romantic sanity, and patiently analyze what went wrong and why. Just because emotional bruises aren’t visible doesn’t mean they aren’t real or that they will heal overnight.But as a therapist, I don't think there is a "too soon." I don't see the choice to get into a new relationship as one of timing at all. Rather than quantify the space between relationships in amount of months or years, I'd like to see people focus more on how "healed" or "emotionally raw" or "in grief" someone is or isn't.