Rather, for him courtship is “dating with a purpose.” In other words, you shouldn’t start a relationship with someone unless you are actually ready to get married and think the person in question is likely the one you want to marry.
Harris condemns “recreational dating” in no uncertain terms.
If we give it all away through defective dating for someone who is not “the one” then what will we have left to give in the future in marriage?
I put all of my time and effort into pleasing my mate and no effort into my relationship with God. By breaking up with me my now ex was treating me as I should have been treated all along — as a sister in Christ.
He realized that my relationship with him was distracting me or keeping me from my relationship with God which was more important.
My blog pages elaborate on this and asks if “kissing dating goodbye” is appropriate for all ages.
Temporarily “kissing dating goodbye” which could also be called postponing dating might be appropriate especially for younger teenagers.
I liked their suggestions but one book kept coming back to my memory…a book a friend suggested after breakup #1…Joshua Harris’s When I mentioned wanting to read this book I was surprised to find that one of my friends had it and was more than willing to lend it to me. But I like going out with dates…I like relationships when things go well…but that doesn’t seem to happen much… As a Christian, this is not what I should strive for. Until that time we should view the opposite sex as brothers or sisters in Christ.
As soon as I borrowed it and began reading it I fell in love with it. As I read Harris’s book I realized that what I was doing is what he describes as “defective dating”. Simply put, I shouldn’t even be worrying about dating at all. We should support them in their relationships with Christ and make sure that we do nothing to distract them from their missions. It is nearly impossible to be completely pure, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive for a life of purity until marriage. We need to learn to be patient and trust in him to provide us with marriage when the time is right.
“Kissing dating goodbye” appears to be reactionary and going to one extreme. ” and Courtship/Groups Are People Still Kissing Dating Goodbye?
Lets not make the same mistake in the opposite direction. Kissing Dating Goodbye Is “Harmful”: A Respected Christian Author’s View on Non-Dating/Courtship Did Joshua Harris “Forget” His Own Church’s History With Courtship/Groups? A Favorite Story About The Need to Think for Yourself A Single Man’s Struggle: Does The Courthship/Group Approach Help or Hinder?
Now I am able to see my singleness as a gift from God.