In the immediate aftermath of John Ritter’s death, it was hard to take issue with ABC’s decisions, since execs were thrust into an untenable situation.
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Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind will kill you.
Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.
Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.
My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge.
Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.
If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off my daughter's body, I will remove them.
1: Use your hands on my daughter and you'll lose them after.