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Trusting yourself is a sign of a reasonable level of self-esteem.

In fact, if you can’t date with your self-esteem in tow, don’t bother until you can.

A lot of people think being ‘ready’ means ready to get attention, have companionship, get sex, an ego stroke – ready to jump back in the saddle.

However being ready to date, which prepares you for being ready for a relationship is actually about being mentally and emotionally ready.

You’ll go about your merry way getting on with your life instead of feeling down and desperate to prove yourself wrong in a wrong relationship. I’m going to hazard a guess that you’re a relatively decent person – you’re not alone, other people have loved, lost, made mistakes, and not found a loving relationship…yet.

If you believe the decent ones are gone, you’re saying ‘Sod it. It’s a cop out that you’re using to legitimise the fact that you’re not prepared to get uncomfortable. I trust myself and I’m OK with acting in my own best interests even if it may hurt a little.

Shed the dead weight, put boundaries in place so that you can be genuinely available for a new relationship.

Also never give someone license to dip in and out of your life. I believe that a loving, healthy relationship with mutual love, care, trust and respect is out there for me.If you’re ruled by fear, it will be a dramatic, insecure interaction and you may end up sabotaging a potential relationship or being with someone that reflects your fears.Know the difference between internal and external factors that are triggering your fears.The world doesn’t need flip flapping around in the dating pool trying to get the fringe benefits of a relationship without the relationship and without the intimacy.Unavailable people often have a lot of ‘loose ends’ in their lives and some of these exes boomerang in and out like bad pennies.Make sure you have been addressing your fears and any other issues for a while before you start dating again, because if you do it too soon and you get your fingers burned, it may set you back. I can mentally and emotionally cope with someone not reciprocating my interest or dates not working out.

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