You might be making a decision about whether to stay or go.You might be thinking about what happened in your relationship and pondering the coulda, woulda, shoulda. You may be thinking that you wanted them to be the right person and that you don’t want to have to try again.
Of all the things you could be ‘doing’, obsessing about them and playing Columbo trying to hunt out more clues, or sitting there like a CSI with a pile of evidence but deciding not to process it and draw a conclusion, is like peeing into the wind.
Yes you get to avoid looking too closely at yourself but while you may have a Ph D in them, you’re skipping all the lessons you could be learning about yourself – how can you have less knowledge about you?
Instead of being an expert in your ex, or shady relationships, or pain, be an expert in living your life authentically to make you happy. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.
If everyone ruminated but didn’t apply or share, we wouldn’t know many of the things that we do or make mistakes to learn from. Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.
I wonder if they’ve got something wrong with them – hmmm, let me Google possible conditions and work up a diagnosis.
Oh my God – what if they change for the next person?
It gives you a purpose but the truth is, your purpose has become finding reasons to continue justifying the pain and rejection and basically why you’re not good enough.
You’re actually rejecting yourself and truth be told, you’re also resurrecting and reliving old pain.
Remember when you’ve been involved with that person that sat on the fence, treated you like an option, flip flapped, said they weren’t sure of their feelings? Not making a decision is a decision in itself – a decision to do shag all.